7 Reasons Why Real Life Should Be More Like Game of Thrones

March 19, 2013 § 2 Comments

1. That gold arbor wine sounds amaaaazing.
As everyone knows, I love consuming malted and mulled beverages. Every time Tyrion, Bron, the late King Robert, or even Cersei shouts “MORE WINE!” I’m like, “get it shorty. Do yo thang.” Soldiers return from battle and pass up water, instead quenching their thirst with the liquid of the vine. If that isn’t badass, I don’t know what is. Whenever I’m watching, all I can do is think about how fun it would be to go to the Plaza with these people. Or how much fun it would be if it was socially acceptable to drink brown ale with every meal. Ah, to live in Westeros.

2. Dragons. Duh.
Oh, you wanna kill the competition? Grab a dragon. Done.

3. The shape shifting possibilities are endless.
At the end of season 2, Jaqen H’ghar says goodbye to Arya and turns around, then turns back to deliver a sassy one-liner and he has a DIFFERENT FACE. Whaaaaat?! Can you imagine what you could do if you had a bunch of different faces? Say goodbye to having to avoid your ex-boyfriend in public. Say goodbye to lengthy make-up application. You’re ugly? It don’t matter. GRAB A NEW FACE.

4. The fear of smoke monster babies would be motivation for better contraception use in teenage mothers.
Don’t wanna give birth to a murderous cloud of smoke that slaughters people who attempt to claim the throne? Wrap it, divas.

5. Everyone is honest with their feelings, sexual exploration is rampant, and people do whatever (and whoever) the fuck they want.
You don’t want to marry the Frey girl? Fuck the bridge, who needs the bridge! Marry the slutty other one. You do you, Robb. Follow your heart. You want to love a prostitute? Go for it, Tyrion. Fuck da haters. Shae is a bad bitch, anyway. (The obvious exception is the whole ‘secretly gay’ thing Renly’s got going on. That’s not so cool.)

6. Oaths and alliances are the basis of society.
Everyone is honest and honorable. And if they aren’t they’re beheaded. Badass. I know it seems cheesy, but I love the idea of a world where our words are worth more than money, our pride worth more than possessions. That sounds truly magnificent. Especially since we’re encouraged to hide how we feel and not confront our feelings directly. Honesty, bravery, honor, all that stuff is sexy. And it’s rampant in GoT. Let’s bring it to our real lives.

7. The women never wear pants.
But let’s face it, I don’t either. So I guess my life already is like Game of Thrones.


§ 2 Responses to 7 Reasons Why Real Life Should Be More Like Game of Thrones

  • mkt-rex says:

    I do believe that the Tyroshi people also make an excellent vintage of pear brandy that would taste good cut with sprite.

  • Ava says:

    …aaaand this is excellent, thank-you. lawlz at “get it shorty. Do yo thang.” And if you think Renly’s homosexuality is covert in the show, the books are even worse. Though he’s still a sexy diva in the book, it never does more than hint at it by letting you know Renly’s bride is probably a virgin. (and his Kingsguard is the ‘Rainbow guard’)

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